In recent years, people have been moving to dating apps rather than meeting someone through mutual friends or going on a blind date in hopes of finding a partner. People of all generations have downloaded dating apps and aimlessly scroll through them daily. The thrill of going on the app after a couple of hours and seeing that multiple people have liked you can be captivating. Although this may seem convenient and fun, dating apps come with consequences. Dating apps can take a toll on one’s mental health and can leave individuals in a worse mental space than when they started, specifically with self-esteem.
How Do Dating Apps Affect Self-Esteem?
The main goal of a dating app is for the user to match with someone who finds them attractive and who they find attractive as well. Self-esteem can be defined as how we value and perceive ourselves. Self-esteem begins to decline early for users, it may even start when creating their profile. Women have posted all over different social media platforms how hard creating a profile can be. Women question if they are using the right photos and if they represent themselves well on these apps. Hinge, a popular dating app, advises users on what to include in their profile based on what they believe works and does not work; For example, they suggest not using a mirror picture. This can cause users to second-guess if their profile is acceptable and start doubting themselves wondering if they fit into society norms.
Creating the profile is just the start of the dating app, next users must send “likes” or show some sort of admiration for people they are interested in. On hinge, users can send “likes” to others and the people receiving the like can either choose to match with the person or “x”-them. Other apps, like Tinder, will not show that another person has liked you (also known as swiping right) unless you also like them as well, and then this will show up as a match. Not receiving a match back can cause users to begin to question how they are perceived. Users will start second-guessing their profile, wondering if something is wrong with them or how they look, and start taking rejections personally. In a 2016 study, users of Tinder reported having lower self-esteem than non-users. These users have less satisfaction with their faces and body and are found to have less self-worth than people not using the app.
Who is Most at Risk for Diminished Self-Esteem Due to Dating Apps?
Research varies heavily on this topic. One study showed that between females and males, there were no differences in self-esteem when using dating apps. However, in another study, men were more likely to have low self-esteem when compared to women. This same study showed that both men and women who use Tinder had lower satisfaction with their body appearance. These results are shocking due to many studies finding that men usually have higher self-esteem than women. The reason for this shocking low self-esteem in male Tinder users has yet to be studied further.
Young adults are also at risk for low self-esteem due to dating apps. In this age group, almost 50% of the population is on dating apps. Young adults are also more likely to find a partner through these apps compared to other age ranges. People in their early 20s are beginning to find themselves and a sense of independence, and self-esteem can be affected during this time. For this reason, dating apps can further hurt their self-esteem and continue to lower it.
The Future of Studying Self-Esteem in Dating App Users
Dating apps are fairly new to the technology world, with most users only joining in the past ten years. From 2005-2015 many of the now popular dating apps were released. Because these apps are so new, very little research has been done on them. Furthermore, in most studies done, a lot of the time the researchers focus on Tinder users. It would be interesting to see if different dating apps produce different outcomes. There is a lot of new research that can be published on this topic and that is yet to be explored, and in upcoming years more research will be put out.
How Does Having a Low Self-Esteem Affect One’s Life
Having low self-esteem does not only affect the way one views themselves, but low self-esteem can also lead to many more issues. Declining mental health is one outcome of low self-esteem. People with lower self-esteem are more at risk for symptoms of depression and anxiety. Furthermore, these individuals might stop caring about their appearance and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as excessive drinking of alcohol or smoking. Lastly, having low self-esteem can lead to self-harming behaviors in some individuals. People with low self-esteem have reported having a higher incidence of eating disorders than people with higher self-esteem and more suicidal thoughts. Low self-esteem not only hurts one’s confidence but can lead to a handful of other issues.
Ways to Have Higher Self-Esteem
Although many people report lower self-esteem, there is a handful of research done on how to improve self-esteem. Please know if you have low self-esteem therapy can be so beneficial! Therapy can get to the root cause and help you explore more of the cause of your low self-esteem.
If you are looking for tips of things you can try on your own one of the best ways an individual can improve their self-esteem is by talking positively to themselves. An example of this is saying affirmations in the morning in the mirror like “I like the way my hair looks today.” Positive self-talk can help change the perception of ourselves, and in return, boost our self-esteem. In therapy, your therapist would get more specific about negative self talk and ways to challenge or change it.
Another way to build self-esteem is to practice self-care. You want to treat your body as something worthy of taking care of. Self-care is important not only for self-esteem but for one’s overall mental health. Ways one can practice self-care is by sleeping the right amount, exercising, and fueling the body with nutritious food.
Additionally, you can do a gratitude practice where every evening you think about or write about things you are grateful for. One more quick tip is to try to practice mindfulness tools when your mind goes to compare yourself to others. See if you can focus in on your breath, the pen in your hand, or how your body feels against the chair. Try to bring yourself back to the moment. Having low self-esteem can take quite a negative toll, but there are many ways an individual can boost their self-esteem.
Thank you to Best Within You Therapy & Wellness intern Jamie Rubin and Dr. Vincent Fitch for this blog post about low self-esteem as the result of using dating apps. If you would like to schedule a therapy appointment for low self-esteem for yourself or a loved one, please visit our appointment page.
